Doctor, Lawyer, Biblical Scholar

By now my opening reference to the decrease in post frequency from what was more than one per day in April, to my first September post coming on the last day of the month, has become cliche.

Fact is, I am moving my writing projects off the internet in the hopes that they become more substantial. Perhaps the blog will come back in force; certainly there is going to be no hiatus or retirement. But regardless, I'm going to stop referencing my lack of posting in my posting, so you are just going to have to take what you get, bud.

There might be more pictures, too, because that takes a lot less thought. For example, I went to Greece, and I can show you some pictures of pretty mountains, blue oceans, and lots of broken stuff.

But, stemming from my current off-line writing project, I would like to share some thoughts about my undergraduate major of study.

I was a Religious Studies major. Now, I give a lot of different answers to the ubiquitous statement/question: "Adam, you are a dreadlocked, SF-reading, Marxist/Anarchist-theory-espousing, rock-music-listening, agnostic-at-best, anti-moralist loudmouth. Why would you want to be a Religious Studies major?"

The easiest answer, that avoids further delving into my personal goals, secrets, and underlying psyche, is "To teach the study of religion." This is a near-tautology, but from most people the question is idle at best, so this tends to satisfy them, or at least offer a change in topic.

Other answers include:

[to an avowed liberal]: "To understand what makes those crazy religious folk so crazy."

[to a crazy religious person]: "To understand our civilization's heritage."

[to a fellow religious studies major]: "There was no foreign language requirement."

[to my advisor]: "Because your classes are awesome."

[to myself, late at night, while I lie awake worrying about how I will pay the bills]: " ... "

[to god, come the judgment day]: "I've read ALL your books!"


Those are just answers of convenience. The real reason, is one that nobody gets to hear, because they wouldn't understand.

AND NOW, THE REAL REASON THAT ADAM WAS A RELIGIOUS STUDIES MAJOR:

I was a religious studies major because, now as I sit here, reading R. H. Charles commentary on the motivations of the various authors, interpolators, and editors of the Book of Enoch, I can daydream this scene:

In the Qum'ran community, the editor of the Book of Enoch comes to work, ceremoniously washes his hands, and sits down at his stone slab of a desk, chiseled with the Aramaic script for "Editor", an hour after all his employees have come to work. He finds a scroll memo at his desk, from Mellehnakik, his editorial assistant. He sighs, and reads it. It seems the scribes need the proofs for the final version of the Similitudes, because they were due last thursday. The editor picks up his brush, and fires a quick scroll mail back. It says, "Forget the narrative inconsistencies, it doesn't matter. Make sure the Messianic references stay in, and if there are any holes, just fill it in from the Apocalypse of Noah. We own the reprint rights. Signed, Editor." Then he looks over his desk to see what is next, spots a manuscript from some guy named Jesus, and reaches for his stack of rejection form-letters.

Yup. To me, that is hilarious, and worth the 30-odd credits and one senior thesis. I told you that you wouldn't understand.